Thursday, March 3, 2011

Do we hide ourselves?

It's been phrased over and over again, even from the most notable Stardoll members: "Stardoll is my escape from real life." Although I do not speak for the general Stardoll populace, perhaps, with a measure of embarrasment, I must say the saying is the same for myself, as well. Although I'd love to laugh it off and say that I've always been myself, I've always been cordial on Stardoll, it is not the case. I've been a snob, I've been unecessarily cruel, but I've also been inherently nice to people I probably would have ignored for being blatantly rude in real life. Does my behavior on Stardoll translate over to my persona as a blogger? Perhaps.

But I find my writing as my outlet; I tend to write how I feel at that date, time, and place. When I'm feeling particularly placid, yes, I am able to write affluently and calmly, and while at other times I may lash, be sad and scared, and I may act quite off my hat. In real life terms, I'm more known to say what I feel and mean, but I can control my temper, control my emotions, and control my words. What may seem so hard to say sometimes seems so easy when writing.. And it's hard to hold back. I guess I've never worked for a particular image, to always act the same way in one's writing seems terribly discerning and annoying. Writing for an "image" seems to most troubling, as ther writer is never really themselves, are they?

I guess I can classify myself as a high stickler for always blogging as myself, but is it what I am all the time? Definitely not that. I know I won't always blog this way; for sure one day I may wake up, look at my blog posts, and hate my writing style, and drastically change it. At the moment, I'm neither blogging as myself nor conforming myself, I am somewhere adrift in the middle of all the confusion, and I think I like it that way: it's my own little happy place.

Hopefully, next time,

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