Most people would tell you what they were outright, like they are so sure of themselves. They bore you with the reasons, and you threaten to leave the page because you feel you are waisting your time.
I have thought about this post for a long time, so many things to consider. I thought about starting with a bang, a starting thought, but hey, my blogging posts won't start with that. I need time to evaluate what I am about to say.
Last week, we talked about what blogging should be restricted to. Maybe my post wasn't as truthful as I had thought, I thought all the things going on my head had been written down in this small memoir. Isn't that what we are all competing for? A place to write a memoir of Stardoll news? Back to the subject, my posts are based on my mood I can observe. Today I am open to share my miscellaneous crap that I call my life. Then, I was agree, and things flew out of my head, but yet I don't regret.
Time to begin,
Gentle letters are carved into the white sheets of paper. My soul is going from my finger, to pen, to paper. The book is a piece of me, a small touch of my life. Maybe the story I tell didn't exactly describe me, but my extensive creativity that I call my mind, was placed on a sheet of paper for all who I choose to read.
Many do not feel the need to write, they have what they want. What do I mean by that? That phrase means that, writing is my outlet. It lets my take out some of the things that I don't have, the things I am deprived of. From the outlook, my life is a hell of a lot better than a lot of lives. But, physicality can sure be a mishap in your thought process. For what I think, is more important to me than anything in the world. My thoughts are dark and sad, which is why I tend to keep them secluded in my head. Blogging and Stardoll help me take these things out, but it has also made others worse.
I don't reread what I type into this posting box, whatever I write should not be altered. If I was destined to be writing that post, than, I wouldn't need to change something about it. It is a representation of me, but only if it is true.
Which brings me to my main idea I came to tell you about, am I masked?
Truly, yes I am. I may not know what I come off as (strong or disastrous), but, I know for one thing that I don't always tell the truth. In my life, I am neglected from my peers. Granted, I am a boy on Stardoll, and I feel that I am on here, because I love fashion, and because I know Stardoll members would give me something that I don't get often in real life. Love. Yeah, maybe that's a cliche, but, even if I don't know them, at least I can guess and pretend. I don't tell the truth because maybe I want to go with the crowd, and agree to what they say. Maybe, just maybe I am just presumptuous, and like to presume things before I actually know the whole story.
Truthfully, I am hiding behind a mask. I am not actually as big as I may or may not seem to be. I really am shy, and deluded from too much confidence flavored alchohol. I do imagine being famous on Stardoll, I don't care if I achieve it, but I do wish I was. This does not mean that I will try, because I am not going to be something that I am not. I want to be recognized for something that is truly me. Would you want to be recognized for a mask rather than your true face? I am truthful, most of my words are, but that doesn't mean that I am not hiding behind a mask.
Stardoll has taught me something.
It's time to get out of your mask.
I cannot lie to get out of things if I wish to be successful. And, I sure as hell know how to stand up for myself now. All of these amazing members have talent, and they taught me glorious things. I am glad to say that I too have talent, but that is your choice to decide where my talent may take me now in the MDM world. But, it is also my job, to perform my talent in order for me to accomplish something.
Colton
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