Sunday, January 23, 2011

Who I See When I Look In The Mirror

When she looks in the mirror, she not only see's the plain reflection of the small, thin Polish girl with brown hair, green eyes and pale skin, but she see's the life, filled with regrets and hope. She see's the girl that wants to be a teacher, the girl that needs to help people, and the girl that is mildly addicted to Stardoll and Tumblr. She see's the life she has lived, filled with tears and joy. Tears for the girls that betrayed her in high-school, and joy for the times her mother comforted her.

She see's what she could've been, and what she should've done, but then she thinks, 'I am who I am,'  and smiles slightly. As she runs her fingers through her long, brown hair, she smirks, remembering all the screw-ups, all of the times she came home, gut-wrenched, because of what she said or did. It is then she realises that all of those were bound to happen, but fate was her friend, and she reminisces all of the laughs, all of the screams of sheer delight, all of the girls she loves, and all of the memories.

As her mother comes into the room, she is relieved. She knows that there is still someone there for her, and she tries to remember her father.  A lone tear streaks down her pale face as all of the memories come flooding back. She hugs her mother and whispers 'Nigdy nie zostawiaj mnie,' which in Polish for 'never leave me'.

As she stands there, in the arms of her mother, she thinks about the future, about having her own kids, and then thinks about the man she will marry, he will be their father, and he will never leave them in the way that her's did. 

Her mind is in utter disarray as she thinks about all of these times in her life, all of these people, all of these memories. She closes her eyes and looks at the ground. Thoughts run through her mind 'I will never achieve that', 'Why did I do that?', but then she thinks 'it is the now that matters' and in the now, she want's to be a writer for Medoll Memoires.

Whenever you hear Rihanna's new song "Who's that Chick?", you can think, 'It is that small Polish girl called Krystyna Gosia Pudzianowski'.

By: Ms.Pudzianowski
Krystyna Pudzianowski

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